Today I hate the world.
But, I don’t.
I hate this never-ending winter.
Yet, I still marvel at the beauty of each snow fall.
I hate that I’m selling the house I built together with my late wife.
However, I’m excited to travel 4,000 kilometres and begin a new chapter.
My daughter is draining and simultaneously fulfilling.
I’m ecstatic for a friend who just got married, while I loath the piece of myself that hates the happiness of others.
I smile but also want to cry.
I look to the future but draw comfort from my familiar pain.
My darkness confuses my optimism.
The dichotomy of my life is exhausting.
While I know light will come again, today I draw what I can from the dark vacuum of this hole.
You want it darker?