Most days I have no idea what I’m doing. From the outside it appears that I make success from chaos and hold my life together with optimism by embracing the unknown with acceptance. Today I feel the uncertainty pulling me apart.
Friday will be my last day at a job and with people that have helped me defined myself. Over the 18 years these people saw me through some heavy lifting in life. I’m not sad to move on. My time there is remembered with fondness and love. But I have not begun to move towards excitement for the future either. Not today at least.
Today I feel like I’m in a Frankenstein assemblage of a life. Who really understands me? The dysfunctional, baggage ridden, oddball I call a self. As of late, I stir emotions of histories through Apple Music. It is my personal Piano Man. Every night he plays me my memories in a macabre private show that I’m not even at. I’m not a part of my life, I am apart from my life. At least that is how I feel today