Melina Gillies is a friend that greatly encouraged me to embark upon a literary exploration of self understanding which culminated in my blogs. It was my primary therapeutic outlet exposing my honest self. At times funny, exciting and even down right dark while writing my truth. Each piece was exactly what I needed to express in those moments. She wrote to me this week and said only, “I miss your blogs.” It has been nearly 10 weeks since I published my last real reflection. After nine months of intimate weekly glimpses into my thoughts, some of my readers felt it was a harsh break-up.
I know…it is interesting to me, upon reflection, the profound need I had to explore my past, current and future experiences. Not just explore but understand myself in the context of them. But that understanding was temporal and also linked to a place I called home Fergus, Ontario. I was not able to fully accept myself there after Allison died. I felt when part of me died I was not whole in Fergus. Needing a literary exploration for understanding of this unease.
I have arrived on the west coast and know that Vancouver is me. It is peace, contentment…it is my family’s home. I know I will write when I feel compelled to understand. For now I am content with the gentle rain that reminds me that I feel.
Photo – Michael Brunt